But if i finish all of my chores and you finish thine, then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

I'm a little upset about a bad dining experience last night.

There's a little place in Madisonville that seems like it would be the perfect seafood restaurant. It's small. The employees look at you weird because they don't know you. They know everybody else in the restaurant by name. Everybody else in the restaurant knows everybody else in the restaurant by name.

Few conversations are limited to one-table involvement.

They carried Abita Turbodog.

This place should have been a homerun.

So Courtney and I sit down. I order a Turbodog and the crabmeat stuffed jalepeno poppers.

For dinner i have the ruby red trout, topped with crab and crawfish, with a salad and a side of roasted potatoes and fresh vegetables.

Two good things i can say about the dinner: the Turbodog was served along with a frosty mug (with a new mug coming with the second beer as well) and the house salad dressing was pretty good.

It is not a good thing when the best thing you can say about a Louisiana seafood restaurant is that it had a good salad dressing.

It's not that the food tasted bad, it's that it didn't taste at all. the fish tasted like the potatoes tasted like the vegetables.

I still held out hope for the bread pudding, though. i love bread pudding, but under one condition: no raisins.

so i ask our waitress (i should add that the staff was extremely helpful and friendly) if the bread pudding comes with raisins.

Yes, she says, raisins and pineapple.

i haven't really thought about how to end this.

two trains. Yell freeze. It was a head-on cold now it's a love disease

I've relapsed with my coffee addiction. Didn't touch the stuff for a couple of months, not i'm back to 3 or 4 cups a day.

I'm temporarily suspending the Wednesday Weigh-in for a few weeks. yesterday, courtney and i signed up for the YMCA that's opening down the road at the end of the month. seems like a good opportunity to kick up my half-ass weight-loss effort to at least three-quarter assed. That gives me a couple of weeks to indulge my coffee and soft drink use before quitting cold turkey again. so look for the return of the weigh-in around the last wednesday in october.

Throughout the various courses of fate, i am now surrounded at work by rather proficient typers. don't know what it is about the sound of really fast typing, but it pretty much hypnotizes me (an di can't even spell it). it's like freaking catnip for clones. i just zone out and sit there and listen to it. i've always found it to be a relaxing sound. can't explain it.

Matt has another multimedia slideshow on his site.

Ryan has finally updated his blog, and would like to remind you to read Marked Music Magazine.

I know it may not seem like a sensible scheme

Welcome to Sports Friday (for ye who speak not of sports, the new post below is sports free. go to town. chimichanga). In order to encourage reader interaction, i'd like to see some of your picks in the comment section. especially for the pick at the end of this section.

The 'Hey, it's your money' Picks of the Week
Overall record: 15-17-6

Arkansas +15.5 Auburn
Wake +17 Clemson
Rice -2.5 Tulane
Notre Dame -29.5 Stanford (don't think i've gotten a pick right with either of these teams this season)
Baylor +5 Colorado
LSU +1.5 Florida
GT -14 Maryland
Oklahoma +4 Texas
Michigan -15.5 Mich state
Tennessee -2.5 Georgia

Point picks
Season total -1400

Going to dig myself out of the hole this week, i feel it. in fact, lets go crazy and try to do it with one pick.

1400 points LSU +1.5

NEW! Reader Pick of the Week NEW!

Ok, guys and gals, i want to see if you can do a better job than the crap I've been doing the last couple of weeks. So if you want to leave any picks in the comments section, be sure to include a guess on this one.

West Virginia (-21.5) at Mississippi State

My rambling thoughts: Mississippi State was a 33 point dog at LSU last week and covered by a point. They are excellent at stopping the run, neutralizing both Auburn and LSU on the ground this year. West Virginia QB Patrick White and RB Slaton (Can't remember his first name) are as lethal a ground attack as there is in college football. LSU has the best defense in the country, while West Virginia's will give up points on occasion. Yes, Mississippi State still managed to cover last week, but one touchdown came on a pick-six thrown by back-up QB Matt Flynn and the other came against LSU's second team defense. Even without a run game, LSU moved up and down the field on them. Russell was 18-20 with three touchdowns and 14 straight completions at one point. I've never watched a game where WVU had to throw the ball to win, but they have a couple of weapons at wideout.

So did the odds makers take all this into account when they set the spread a dozen points lower? My brain thinks this is a line the Mississippi State front 7 should be able to cover even with their horrible offense. My gut says this one is never close and WVU covers easily.

What say you?

*****

Well, this is the week I've been looking forward to/dreading since the Auburn game. Part of me is looking forward to seeing how the LSU defense coupled with a new wide-open passing attack will look against a top-5 team.

The rest of me is scared to death we'll see a replay of the Auburn gameplan and i'll have to go in my backyard and set myself on fire.

But I'm feeling optimistic. If you could put the talent level of LSU and Florida into a video game match-up and let the CPU control both teams, LSU wins it. Saturday will come down to coaching, plain and simple.

fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice? we'll see, but i think LSU rolls in this one.

24-6 Tigers

"I think of a man, then i take away reason and accountability."

I don't think it would necessarily be fair to say that I get road rage.

I get petty. I don't suffer fools well.

If you do something stupid, i'll position myself just right to spray your car with washer fluid. Mature, I know.

So I was in a pretty good mood today, until my drive to work.

As I've preached before, I wouldn't call myself a defensive driver. But I'm safe. I always know how fast i'm going and where other cars are on the road. I drive faster than the speed limit habitually, but I've never been pulled over for speeding, much less gotten a speeding ticket.

Over the years, I've compiled a list rules governing the correct way to drive. here are the ones that are important to this story.

1. On an interstate highway, brakes are not for slowing down. they are for not hitting the car in front of you.
2. Unless said car has its emergency lights on, do not slow when you see a police car. if you were speeding, the officer already knows it. going 45 for half a mile will not trick him into thinking you didn't just pass him going 83.
3. if you're not brave enough to speed on your own, don't wait for me to pass you then speed up and follow me.

i stopped in Hammond this morning to get gas. and shortly after i got back on interstate, i got in the left to pass a group of cars. After i got in the left lane, a mini van in front of me also got in the left lane. there were no other cars in the left lane within site.

So, needless to say, i was a little surprised when the van passed the first car in the group and its brake lights came on. i slapped my forehead as the van cautiously passed what looked like a soon-to-be police car.

the entire group of cars to our right were white Crown Victorias. They all had tinted windows and that spotlight cop cars have on the driver's side mirror. There were seven of them in a row. Other than the previous description, there was nothing that would lead a reasonable person to believe that she needed to slow down. (did i just use "she" and "reasonable" in the same sentence?)

None of the cars had permanent license plates.

None of the cars had any sort of police identification anywhere on them.

None of the cars had emergency lights.

The cars were driving 68 miles an hour.

Sorry, but that doesn't exactly scream "speed trap" to me.

So this stupid lady in her minivan is bebopping along at exactly 70 mph, clearly concerned that at any second one of the 7 notpolice cars to her right is going to throw on their notlights and pull her over for notspeeding.

We eventually make our past the intimidating armada of those who are clearly notprotecting and notserving. I mistakenly give the driver of the minivan a little credit when she pulls into the right lane to let me pass. mistakenly.

As i pass her, she speeds up. I get up to about 78. she's right behind me, now going 10 mph faster than she was a tenth of a mile ago.

In short order, it's time to pass another car. I get in the left lane. so does the minivan. I couldn't help myself. After i passed the car I slowed down to 68.

This apparently aggravated the woman driving the minivan, so she got in the right lane to pass me. So i sped up. she gets behind me again in the left lane.

The faster i go, the faster she goes. so i slow down again, but just for a second. i speed up, and i'm going about 78 or 80, and she's behind me flashing her lights at me. yes, two minutes ago, i was behind her patiently while she was going 70 in the passing lane, now she's telling me to get out of her way.

I decide that i'm happy where i am (one of my other cardinal rules of driving: Thou shalt not drive in the left lane when there's room for you in the right one) and let her pass me on the right.

so now i'm in a bad mood, because out there somewhere is somebody cruising along in a minivan who thinks i'm a bad driver and will continue to hit her brakes every time she sees a notpolice car on the road.

Loooooooove is a many splendored thiiiiiiinnng

He shoots, he sco...oooooooooooh

setting traps out in advance so we can spend the weekend staring in a trance

for reasons i don't fully understand, i think this is really funny.

it's the guy who played Biff in the back to the future movies.

i'm hungry

went 4-5 with my picks this weekend. so i still suck at that. overall record 15-17-6.

only got one of my points plays right, now at -1450 for the season.

and i really am hungry.

Heaven, I need a rest, I recognize the voices talking in my head

Going to be swamped tomorrow, so i thought i'd go ahead and make my "hey, it's your money" college picks today. definitely going with more underdogs than usual.

Auburn -14 South Carolina (tonight)
Missouri -14.5 Colorado
LSU -33 Mississippi State (earlier this week i told myself that i wouldn't be comfortable with a number higher than about 25, but i've talked myself into it)
Wyoming +5 Syracuse
Florida -13.5 Bama
Georgia Tech +9 virgina tech (last-second change of heart)
Houston +16.5 Miami
Kansas State +1.5 Baylor
Stanford +32.5 UCLA

overall record 11-12-6

OK, need to dig out of the hole points wise. time to let this bad boy spiral out of control, addiction-style. whoody woo

total for season: -1000

Plays this week:

500 points LSU
100 points Florida

two team:
100 points LSU, Florida

50 point three team
LSU, Mizzou, Florida

*****

I love me some LSU, but i have never been shy to say that we sure do have some stupid fans. Last week, Charles Scott rushed for more than 100 yards. And last night someone called during Les Miles' show to complain that Alley Broussard and Justin Vincent only got two carries between them against Tulane.

Yes, the same Alley Broussard and Justin Vincent who combined for about 32 yards on 16 carries against Auburn. and the caller was mad because they didn't get the ball more. unbelievable.

Don't let the water wash us away

When you've got 8 or 10 minutes to spare, turn on your sound and check out the two new galleries Matt has posted on his web site.

both are definite must-sees.

I wanna publish scenes and rage against machines. i wanna pierce my tongue

i'm miserable, San Diego.

just had a cajun blackened steak (or something like that) sandwich from Subway. i give it a 5 out of 10.

it's gratuitously hot.

i'm of the opinion that it's very hard to overseason something. when in doubt, i say, add more flavor. but this, this is different.

when you bite into it, all you taste is hot. one of those things that makes your nose run, but you're out of napkins because you spilled a piece on your clothes and had to clean it up before you go back to work, so you have to use your hand to wipe the snot off your lip. you know what i mean.

so now i've got 14 pounds of subway in my stomach because i forgot that a 6-inch sub is actually pretty filling so i got a footlong. i just want to curl up under my desk and take a nap.

'Cause Mr. Jones and me...know what it means to miss New Orleans

Thoughts from the Saints game last night:

• I've been to sporting events with a better sports atmosphere (not many, mind you), but i've never been to one with such an overall feeling of excitement, i guess it would be what i'd call the "atmosphere atmosphere." definitely goose-bump inducing at times.

• When the Saints blocked the field goal, the upper deck started moving. I mean literally swaying back and forth. It was pretty cool, but maybe more scary/creepy than anything.

• Haven't listened to a lot of Green Day stuff since high school/early college, but i can think of several songs that would have been better to play than what they played last night. It's called "When September Ends," i think. sort of slow and repetitive and not really the sort of thing to get people fired up.

• Have never listened to much U2 at all, as i have previously noted here. But if their full-length concerts are anything like the song and a half they played last night, i could definitely see myself becoming a fan. Don't know when i'd actually get a chance to see them in concert, but if the opportunity ever presents itself, i'm definitely going for it.

• I couldn't catch exactly what he saying, but during the 45-seconds of "Beautiful Day" U2 played, Bono changed the lyrics to refer to new orleans.

• I'm now allowed to behave any way i want in public. courtney was constantly laughing at the guy sitting in front of us, and he was doing things that i know for a fact would get her mad if i were doing them. so now i have proof that she enjoys outlandish public behavior. hooray me.
  

And I turned 21 in prison, doing life without parole. no one could steer me right, but mama tried

Another rough weekend on the picks.
Record this week: 5-6-1
Overall record: 11-12-6

and to top it off, i played the points picks horribly, hitting on only one of my picks. which means that i have gone broke in only two weeks. but i'm sure to rebound next week.

at slow speed, you'll seem focused

Welcome to Sports Friday (as opposed to Sports Every Day of the Week like it's seemed to be lately).

If you've been around me for any amount of time, you know how much i hate Tulane. Absolutely can't stand them.

I'm one of those people who rarely, if ever, roots for an underdog. I find it much more enjoyable to watch a good team impose their will on a lesser opponent and systematically dismantle them.

So tomorrow you have a team I hate, Tulane, playing LSU, a team that will most assuredly systematically dismantle them. Sounds like a recipe for a good time to me. But last night I got so mad because I just can't get excited about tomorrow's game.

It's all Les Miles' fault. (Incidentally, I decided that the LSU game plan was the reason they lost Saturday. While the officiating was truly, truly, truly terrible, I decided not to mail the letter to the SEC office. Seemed like a cop-out to me. Excuses, as one high school baseball coach often preached, are for losers.)

LSU is going to beat Tulane and Mississippi State the next two weeks by a combined 98-0 (63-0 and 35-0, respectively) and I can't get excited because against Florida or Tennessee or Arkansas or Alabama, our coaches are going to screw up something and lose a game we should win. (i've spent the last several Fridays making myself delete every "we" reference when I'm talking about LSU, but I can't do it anymore).

so i'm sure it'll change once i get into Tiger Stadium tomorrow, but i can't help but expect to wake up Sunday with the thoughts of something that happened during the game that will continue to reinforce my fears that LSU coaches are incapable of adapting.

DISCLAIMER: defensive and special teams coaches are immune from any coaching criticism in the above paragraphs.

*****

"Hey, It's Your Money" Picks of the Week
Overall record: 6-6-5
Last week: 2-4-4
Point balance: 612
Last week: -388

1.LSU -36 Tulane
2.Notre Dame -3 Mich state
3.USC -22.5 Zona
4.Louisville -14 K-state
5.Minnesota -3 Purdue
6.Mich -13.5 Wisc.
7.West Virgina -19 ECU
8. Iowa State +25 Texas [EDIT: Originally had oklahoma here, but the line shifted a couple of points]
9. UCLA -3 Washington
10. Iowa-20 Illinois
11. Hawaii +14.5 Boise
12. Wyoming -1 Air force

Point Plays:

200 points LSU -36 Tulane
100 points USC -22.5 Zona
100 points West Virgina -19 ECU

2 team parlays
100 points LSU, USC
50 points LSU, West Virginia

3 team
30 points LSU, USC, WVU
30 points LSU, Notre Dame, UCLA

Remaining Balance: 2 points (Yikes, this is could get ugly in a hurry)
Best case scenerio: 1760

I'm in a bed, I'm in a little room, i'm in a building, it's in the middle of this life

i've been told multiple times by multiple people that my sports writing is the perfect cure for insomnia, so i'll try to avoid straying down the sports path for a while, since it's all i've talked about for the last two weeks or so...

YESTERDAY -- As i pulled into the parking lot at work, my "Hey, man, you need some gas" light came on . Since post-work traffic is unpredictable, i decided to filler-up at lunch so i wouldn't risk getting stuck in traffic and run out of gas.

So i left work at lunch and was driving toward the gas station on a two-lane, one-way street in the left lane. a car in the right lane cut across in front of me -- sans blinker, of course-- and whipped across to the parrallel parking on the left.

As luck would have it, she (you didn't seriously think it was a male driver, did you?) came close enough to hitting me that i had to brake pretty heavily. instead of driving past her, i was able to stop right beside her car. I looked out to my left, made eye contact, and gave her the bird. then i drove off.

It made me pretty happy.

TODAY -- Thump. Thump. Thump.

Why the thumping?

All morning. Thump. Thump. Thump.

I was getting ready to go to work, led by the percussion section coming from the laundry room.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

I got dressed and went through the usual drill of locating the triumverate of necessary pocket-fillers: wallet, keys, phone.

Thump.

I walked in the living room and got my keys and wallet. (Thump.)

Couldn't find my phone. (Thump.)

Looked in the bedroom. (Thump.)

No phone.

Looked in the office. (Thump.)

No phone.

Looked under the couch. (Thump.)

No phone.

Looked under the cushions. (Thump.)

No phone.

Hmmmm....

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Walked to the laundry room.

Opened the dryer door.

Dryer stopped.

Thumping stopped.

Found my phone.

yeah, you're waking up one desire and i can't get a line

Well, last week's picks didn't work out too well. I went 2-4-4, bringing my two week record to 6-6-5 (i think). from the points standpoint, i'm down to 612.

*****

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago:

Play calling: Put LSU's top four receivers against any secondary in the country and somebody will be open. I worry that Miles will be so hell bent on running the ball this year that we don't take advantage of LSU's strength at wideout.

well, i'd say that was certainly the case Saturday, when LSU played with an offensive game plan that was so conservative it was repulsive. Jamarcus Russell was something for 9-11 for 151 yards in the fourth quarter, but for the rest of the game, Les Miles insisted on running tosses with slow tailbacks or running the ball up the middle with Jacob Hester or Justin Vincent. It was infuriating. And even in crunch time, LSU followed a successful pass with two runs up the middle, putting lsu on a third and long after Hester was stopped behind the line.

Miles' answer for this ineptitude? we need to run the ball more.

At his press conference yesterday, he basically said that there was nothing wrong with the play selection and the more trouble we have running the ball, the more we're going to try to run the ball.

The man absolutely refuses to adapt to the talent LSU has on the offensive side of the ball. "Surely," you say, "If he's going to keep running it, he'll put in the younger guys and see if they can do better since they're faster." nope. he also says there's no personnel issues, so our two freshman running backs will stay on the bench.

I have also lumped Jimbo Fisher into the mix with Miles, since i don't know who's calling the plays, it's both of their faults. i just see bad things ahead for the LSU program if the coaches insist on being this stubborn (quickly approaching idiotic).

*****

Speaking of idiotic, i'm still furious about the SEC saying that the officials got the pass interference calls correct. they aren't saying anything about the other 10 plays LSU disagreed with.

i'm actually mailing a letter about the logic behind the announcement to the SEC offices at lunch today. here's an excerpt from the letter:

Both plays involve an instance where the path of the ball was altered by a defender who was not interfering with the receiver. The LSU penalty was allowed because the offending defender was not playing the ball. However, that implies that Auburn defender, who had his left arm wrapped around the receiver’s left leg, his right hand behind the receiver’s right knee and his face planted into the upper part of the back of the receiver’s upper thigh was playing the ball. If you discount the Auburn player making the deflection or the LSU player making the interception, I don’t see anyway you can say that the Auburn player interfered less on the play than the LSU defender did on the other play in question.

That, in turn, leads to the reasoning behind waiving the Auburn penalty off because the pass was uncatchable. By making the statement that both calls are correct, you are essentially saying that the pass Auburn threw was catchable. Which further means that the conference is saying a ball in the possession of an LSU defender who was not the offending player in the pass interference call is more catchable than a ball deflected into the air. That implies that had the LSU defender not made the interception and had instead knocked the ball down or otherwise deflected it, he would have created an uncatchable pass and the interference would have been waived off.

Let me repeat that: The conference found that a ball already in the possession of a another player is more catchable for a receiver being interfered with than a ball that is actually still in the air.

Let me make sure i'm understanding this correctly...

AP--
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. The Southeastern Conference determined that officials made the right decision in reversing a pass interference call late in the Auburn-LSU game.
SEC Media relations director Charles Bloom says that basically, the call of removing the flag would be correct because the ball was uncatchable after the defender tipped it.

Auburn defensive back Zach Gilbert was flagged for interfering with receiver Early Doucet deep in its own territory in the 7-3 win over No. 6 LSU. The flag was waved off because officials deemed that Eric Brock's tip of the ball made it uncatchable.

Bloom says another controversial fourth-quarter call that went second-ranked Auburn's way was also correct.

LSU's interception on third-and-29 was negated because Daniel Francis was penalized for interference on receiver Courtney Taylor, giving Auburn an automatic first down.

Bloom says that pass was ruled a catchable ball.

so what you're telling me is that when an auburn player goes in front of an lsu receiver being interfered with and deflects the pass, it isn't catchable. but an lsu defender in front of an auburn receiver being interfered actually makes the interception and that pass is MORE catchable? how is that possible? what am i missing here? a ball in the air is less catchable than a ball another player is holding? i must be stupid because that's as assbackwards as it gets.

She gets sad when there's nothing going on here

Hi, welcome to sports Friday.

Earlier this week, i said this would be a tough week to pick games, but i actually found quite a few games I'd consider playing (if i actually bet). Don't think any of these are a lock, but here are:

GAMES I LIKE

BC -7 over BYU
Ohio State -30 over Cincinatti
Rutgers -16 over Ohio
Boise -7 Wyoming
Notre Dame -6 over Michigan
Arkansas -6 over Vandy
Navy +1 over Stanford
Mississippi State -11 over Tulane (yes, i picked a team that hasn't even scored this season to beat tulane by more than 10 points)
Miami +4 over Louisiville (heard yesterday that the last 5 times, maybe it was 6, that Miami has been an underdog, they've won the game out right)
USC -18 over Nebraska

My record last week: 4-2-1 Season Record : 4-2-1

I thought it would be fun to add a twist to this. Since getting games right only does you any good if you bet them correctly, i thought i'd start using fake betting scenerios to see if my prognosticating would actually make me any money. here's how it works: wrong guesses cost the bet amount plus 10%, right guesses pay even money, two team parlays pay 2.6 to 1 and three teams pay 6 to 1 (found all this out last weekend while tailgating).

I'm going to give myself 1,000 points to use to play the season. let's see how fast i can go broke.

Straight-up bets:

100 points Ark over Vandy
150 points Boise over Wyoming
50 points USC over Nebraska
100 points Ohio State over Natti
50 points Miami over Louisiville
50 points Notre Dame over Michigan

2-team
100 points Rutgers and Boise
100 points Boise and Arkansas
100 points Rutgers and Boston College

3-team
25 points Arkansas, Boise, and Ohio State
50 points Rutgers. Arkansas, Boise

wow, just realized i used most of points already. i should go back and change some, i went into this only planning on betting three or four games. but i think i'll let it ride.

Remaining Balance: 125 points

***

Well, consider me sort of on the West Virginia bandwagon. I've decided that a team from the Big East can be a legitimate contender.

I still think they'll breeze through their joke of schedule, but i also think a lot of it has to do with the fact that they're good. but i'm taking back what i said about them getting slaughtered by a tough opponent in a bowl.

This is a good team (with the best down-field blocking i can remember seeing). Maryland moved the ball on them late, so i think they can be beaten. but i think they'll hang around with anybody.

***

of course the biggest game of the weekend is LSU against Auburn. Last weekend i mentioned that i was worried about how much Jacob Hester was involved in the offense. He proceeded to get 14 touches against Arizona, more than anybody else on the team.

That was the last week Les Miles gets the benefit of the doubt from me. LSU has as good of a WR corps as anybody in the country. I'm going to break something if the fullback/ back-up tailback comes out of the Auburn game as the leading receiver and gets nearly 10 carries out of the backfield.

surely it won't happen this weekend. i hope.

This is a blog about West Texas

Just wanted to answer the questions Kyle left in the comments section from the post below.

1. I'm at 189 as of this morning. which means in the last month, my half-assed weight-loss effort (with that effort being closer to 1/8-assed lately) has led to a loss of 3/10 of a pound. pretty impressive, if you ask me.

2. I have no idea what i think about the line. i haven't seen enough of LSU to where i can make any sort of predictions based on logic instead of emotion. Last week, I wasn't sure LSU would cover the spread but also told Michael that i wouldn't be surprised if they won by 40.

I'll say this: LSU is good. Before the season, I expected that this would probably be a loss for LSU. After watching LSU play twice, I'm much more confident, but don't know how much to read into it because of the level of their competition.

but if you held a gun to my head, I'd pick LSU to win by 4 to 7 points.

Come on down sing a song for me darlin, i don't want to feel it slip away

Had a dream last night that i heard a new counting crows song. with their recent studio inactivity and the fact that their last tour didn't play at a venue close enough for me to attend, i've sort of been fiending to hear the new cd that's supposed to be coming out early next year.

here's a funny/sad blog entry by crows' lead man Adam Duritz.

speaking of rock stars, matt has angered Bon Jovi Nation (scroll down one or two entries) by indicating that JBJ was rude to him on a recent visit to new orleans. you'll notice how the loyal minions of JBJ just sort of ignore what matt says in his blog and complain about completely fabricated things.

I checked the lines for this weekend's college football games and this week looks to be even tougher than last. it'll be tough for me to find four or five games i like.

Let your dreams be dreams, all this livin's so much harder than it seems

Hey everybody. hope you had a good weekend.

thought i'd start off by recapping my picks for the weekend. Technically, my record was 3-2-1, getting iowa and texas tech incorrect and pushing on Oklahoma. But I'm going to award myself a record of 4-2-1. here's why:

I made my picks on a Friday and learned Saturday that Iowa's starting quarterback wasn't going to play. obviously -- to me anyway -- that is a game i would not have picked if i had known drew tate wasn't playing. and since i found out before the iowa game started, i would have been able to withdraw that wager had i been betting.

If you notice in my friday entry, i said something along the lines of "hold a gun to my head and i'd pick ohio state to cover" then tossing out the utah st/ark game as another possibility of the underdog to beat the spread. well, both Ohio State and Utah State beat the spread.

So i'm keeping the iowa loss on my record, but giving myself an additional win for getting both Ohio State and Utah State, even though they weren't technically picks.

*****

Had lots of weird dreams last night.

someone tried to drown me in one of them.

in another, i spent a full day at work thinking it was Monday. But it was actually Tuesday and i had missed all my scheduled interviews.

another had something to do with school and a friend of mine drinking a gatorade type drink out of ziplock bags. and i don't remember if it was the same dream or a different one, but the same friend was a member of a two-person video game-playing team that could beat anyone in a basketball video game.

in another dream, i tried to get my brother to show me how to shoot beavers. i was especially interested in killing the genetically altered beavers with super long teeth.

I don't believe in cards, i don't believe in signs, but i'll be leaving soon, i'm here tonight

sound on:

Had to be hard to keep hating yourself when these people are so well-behaved

Welcome to Sports Friday and our first installment of -seth's "Hey, it's your money" picks of the week.

I don't gamble on college football, but not because i don't want to. it's more of a inability to justify putting it higher on the disposable income priority list. that sort of thing happens when you leave school owing more than $30,000 on school loans and car note.

But i do enjoy looking at the lines and seeing what i'd do (and subsequently informing others who I'd bet on). remember, it's your money, but here are

Games I like this week
actually, there aren't any jumping out at me as sure things. so here are the one's i like best (it's just a coincidence that i'm taking the favorite in all of them).

Georgia -3.5 over South Carolina
Texas Tech -7.5 over UTEP
Oklahoma -17 over Washington
Auburn -21 over Miss. State
Rutgers -10.5 over Illinois
Iowa -19.5 over Syracuse

No, sir, I don't like it
Games I wouldn't touch:

Louisville -40.5 over Temple
LSU -16 over Arizona
Texas -3 over Ohio State

If you held a gun to my head and forced me to pick a dog to cover this week I'd go with Ohio State (or maybe Utah State +29 against Arkansas), but i really have no clue how that game's going go. I really think Louisville can cover against Temple, but that is a HUGE number. it's just too big for me to go anywhere near it (if i actually bet). And, if i bet, i would never bet on an LSU game. that whole head v. heart thing. but i don't like this line anyway. If the line was a couple points lower, i would consider playing LSU but the line would have to get significantly higher for me to put anything on Zona.

So, if i bet, this week i wouldn't go much bigger than a three team parlay; probably Georgia, Oklahoma and Rutgers.

*****

Well, LSU kicked off the season with an easy win over ULL last Saturday. I thought the game went about as well as could be expected.

there were really only a couple of things that worried me, but i wouldn't even say I'm that concerned about it.

1. Jacob Hester: Good football player. Contributes every time he gets on the field. The type of guy you want playing for your team. But i would like to see him touch the ball 2 or 3 fewer times a game. LSU has a lot of big play potential. Keep Hester involved in the offense, but he shouldn't be higher than fourth of fifth on the team for the number of touches he gets in a game.

2. Play calling: Put LSU's top four receivers against any secondary in the country and somebody will be open. I worry that Miles will be so hell bent on running the ball this year that we don't take advantage of LSU's strength at wideout. My friend Michael pointed out that the outcome was never in question against ULL so it provided an opportunity to work on running the ball.

That thought lessened my worries, since it's stupid to think that Tigers receivers would have much success against teams who drop 8 men into coverage every play. so list play calling as a low-end doubt for now, but it's something to keep an eye on as the season progresses.

you're one of them fancy lads

hey everybody. been a few days. not a whole lot to report.

lost my wedding ring in the gulf of mexico this weekend. noticed it was missing right away and courtney's cousin found it. so that was good.

****

former LSU defensive line coach Joe Cullen was arrested for driving naked recently. watching him in pregame warm-ups definitely was a give away that he's a pretty high-strung fellow. i'm just glad that he snapped and drove naked elsewhere instead of dropping trou in Tiger Stadium.


****
and, finally, just because:

eh, woulya like to buy a monkey?

when this little girl came and she sat next to me

Right around the time of our November wedding, Courtney called the garbage people to set up an account. The previous homeowner's had left us their official company garbage can.

However, when Courtney called them, they informed her that they weren't taking new accounts. So we did what anybody else would do -- we set our garbage can out on the appropriate days and let them pick it up for free while they also collected the trash of our (sucker) neighbors who were paying for their services.

Well, Wednesday, (nine months later) the garbage people collected our neighbor's trash but left our can full. THursday morning, I rolled it back up by our garage intending to leave it out again and see if they'd pick it up Saturday.

I got home yesterday afternoon and they had picked up my trash. And had taken the trash can with them. assholes.

so now i don't have a trash can.

*****

I woke up this morning five minutes before the alarm went off convinced that today was Saturday. it completely ruined my day.

but seeing this made it better. turn on the sound

well that's certainly good news

sorry for the drive-by posting today.

Actual headline on ESPN.com:

Yanks' Wang thriving

Idiot

Colin Cowherd was on ESPN radio today talking about Pittsburgh Steelers running back Willie Parker getting a big contract extension. Parker didn't get drafted after finishing college.

Cowherd was talking about how Parker's feel-good story was an exception to the rule. He started rambling about how, as a rule, the best players come from big schools. I tend to agree, but here's his argument paraphrased:

Parker is an exception. look at top QBs Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Carson Palmer. Michigan, Tennessee, USC, all big programs. (He does this for several other positions...gets to defensive line)...Julius Peppers. He went to UNC but played against ACC competition.

makes sense, right? but here's my problem, Parker also went to North Carolina. So UNC is a big program only when used to make the argument that UNC is not a big program.

somebody's going to have to explain that one to me.

home alone

we're just a couple small people squeezing out a life, we need a little good time

woo hoo, TGITLDONFS!

Thank God It's The Last Day Of Not Football Season!

can't wait to get home tomorrow, grab a beer, take off my pants and watch the Mississippi State - South Carolina game. I don't care who wins, i just want it to get here...

...i remembered to weigh today, but chose not to. Don't think the four beers and half a pizza i had for dinner last night would have done much to help me.

her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger, i heard you say

well, i spent the better part of a day this weekend worried that a hurricane would derail the start of college football season for the second straight year. Luckily, it looks liker Ernesto is heading east, and there will be football.

I'm unapologetically a complete a-hole when it comes to college football. When a hurricane is heading toward us, i don't think about storm damage or anything else. I think, "i'm going to be pissed if they cancel the game." A tree could fall on my house on a Sunday and i won't be as upset as i am on a Saturday with no LSU game.

In other unhealthy college football related addiction news, this marks the third year I'm participating in my friend Jeremy's Jimmy Carter College Football Pick 'em contest. In Jimmy C, Jeremy picks a game a week and the contestants try to guess the final score. the closer you get to the correct score, the more points you get.

I started off the contest with a bang two years ago, when i became the first contestant to get a game exactly right -- a 16-10 Miami victory over Flordia State. Things went downhill from there and i ended up finishing a distant second .

Last year also ended with a second-place finish for your humble narrator. However, I am pleased to announce that I topped the pre-season poll for this year's Jimmy C contest. Yes, there is a preseason poll, although it has nothing to do with the final outcome of the contest.

I got two of the five first-place votes to finish 12 points up on the second-place vote getter. I don't actually think i'll win the contest -- there are a total of 40 contestants, i think -- but this is just one more thing to get the football juices flowing.

incidentally, Ryan won it last year, and he's my bet to repeat this year.

Waxing or waning your car

8 days.

One week + one day.

I'm giddy.

Drove through LSU today to get somewhere. They have the "don't litter and please use plastic containers while funneling beer" signs posted on campus.

The port-a-potty staging areas have been assembled.

It's football season (or damned close, anyway).

Normally, this would be Sports Friday and I guess, technically, it is, but i am in no way capable of having a logical sports discussion. all i want to do is talk LSU football, and there's no way in the world i could be objective right now.

So i'll just post a couple of links to things I think you should check out.

-- Check out this cartoon on ESPN.com. i was a little surprised by the blatant female genitalia euphemism (i don't vouch for the correct spelling of the previous two words). If you need me to point it out/explain it, don't ask.

--This isn't sports-related, but it's funny. well, it's funny to me. while you're there, check out the some of the other "missions." this is one of those things where half the people who read it will think it's the dumbest thing ever. if you enjoy it, read the Best Buy and Home Depot missions.

an energetic, apathetic version of another person

forgot to mention the weigh-in yesterday. i lost more weight, but can't remember what it was. it was less than a pound, i think. 188-point-something. i've been half-ass losing weight for nine straight weeks and have lost 6 pounds. that has to be some sort of inefficiency record. only i could pull off something so unimpressive.

***

Had to e-mail a sports illustrated writer today. i felt bad about because i worried i would come across as a jackass and i really wasn't trying to be.

The guy described USC quarterback John David Booty as speaking with a "Creole twang." John David Booty is from Shreveport. His dad is from Shreveport. I've never talked to JDB, but can sleep well at night knowing that the way he talks sounds nothing like a "Creole twang."

Here's the Cliff's notes version of what i wrote the guy (i'm paraphrasing and completely eliminating all the butt kissing i did to ensure that i didn't come across as a jackass):

JDB is from Shreveport, he probably has a drawl. you have to drive at least 3 hours south of shreveport to find somebody who speaks with a "creole" anything. people think everyone from louisiana are cajuns. people are wrong.

that's it for now.

for no particular reason...

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,
'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine
enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people
did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans
and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu—

And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the
Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt
be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be
three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting
that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number
three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand
Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall
snuff it.'

earned a master's degree from harvard college, built his house from his architect knowledge

for some reason i was thinking earlier about the lady who came to visit our kindergarten class. I think she was with march of dimes, but it's been 20 years so i can't remember for sure.

she told us about "send a mouse to college." we got a little container and were instructed to collect change to pay for a mouse to "go to college." and for some reason, it dawned on me today what "to college" meant.

i wonder what kind of sick-o actually thinks it's a good idea to convince 5-year-olds that they're sending a mouse to college. i can only wonder at what point an especially anti-animal-testing parent got wind of the program and triggered its demise. (i can't imagine they're actually still getting away with it)

***

to continue with the theme, i've decided i want to get a master's degree. don't really know in what, just know that i need it to be an online study course.

The University of Missouri has an online master's degree in journalism, but i don't think i want a journalism master's. i'm leaning toward creative writing, but like i said, i really have no idea what i'll end up doing.

Bright blue horses are the fortune she lives by

Welcome to Sports Friday.

Since moving souther (as in more south than my previous home, which to anybody who doesn't live souther than that would be considered south), i've grown to become a saints fan. despite growing up in louisiana, i actually lived closer to dallas than new orleans, so i actually saw more of the cowboys than the saints.

while my feelings probably pale in comparison to the longer-term, harder-core saints fans, i must say that i have a good belly laugh anytime aaron brooks is talked about by the media. in the span of about two preseason quarters, he has managed to become a laughingstock, with the general consensus being that he won't be starting for the Raiders by the end of the year...

...other than that, i tend to discount sweeping praise/criticism from the preseason -- particularly early preseason. But i must say i was muy impressed watching Tarvaris Jackson QB the Vikings the other night...

...i think my previously wavering unwavering faith in the LSU running backs situation has returned to unwavering. must've been something i ate. but i'll keep you posted if i rewaver...

...Lately, i've been gearing up for a "disappointing" two- or three-loss season for LSU because of the tough road schedule. But i like this team and think back to a one-point loss in 2004 to Auburn, which got to rekick an extra point after LSU was penalized for "leaping." I'm not positive, but i believe i read somewhere that it was the only time that particular penalty was called in Division I football all season. I think this year's squad is better than the 2004 team (provided the O-line isn't a complete train wreck), so i'm much more optimistic about LSU being at least a key player in the BCS picture...

...I'm trying to get excited about the AL playoff chase, but i look at the standing and see that there's still something like 35 or 40 games left to be played...

...And, finally, for some reason despite living in Southeast Louisiana, any sporting event on ESPN involving a team from Texas gets blacked out by direct tv. so despite being about a 6-hour drive from Houston and 8 hours from Dallas, i don't get to watch any baseball with the Astros or Rangers playing. (I HATE the astros, so that's not a big deal, it's just the principle of the matter).

and all of the kitty cats get out their catty kits

Absolutely nothing going on.

did the weigh-in yesterday. didn't gain any weight. didn't lose any weight.

read this. it's interesting.

And the music can plays and the elevator sways but I don’t really feel like dancin’

In honor of me always having to replace the water jug at work.

*****

Well, ran into a slight problem with the ribs I was going to cook Saturday. I had them on the grill for about three minutes before i ran out of propane. (Yes, i am fully aware that to "correctly" barbecue ribs i should be using some combination of charcoal and wood. But the guy we bought our house from left us a free grill, so i'm not complaining.)

So anyway, I panicked and swore for a bit, but then dropped them in a pan, poured in some Amber Bock and let them cook in the oven for about an hour. Ended up being fairly edible. in fact, next try with the ribs, I'm going to try the beer thing on the grill with some of them and see if they're better than the just-grilled part of the batch.

The rub i made turned out pretty good. Next time will tone down the cayenne and chilli powder just a notch to see if some of the other flavors come out a little better.

Somebody saw him jump, yeah, but nobody saw him slip.i guess he lost a lot a hope and then he lost a grip

Well, despite drinking an estimated 35 beers and 6 gin and tonics this weekend, and inhaling ballpark-type food (didn't actually do any eating at the ballpark itself), i still managed to lose weight this week. only three-tenths of a pound, but i ain't complaining.

I actually did the weigh-in Wednesday morning, but i'm just now getting around to posting it. I need to get back on the treadmill, because i'm sure my lack of exercising lately is going to come back to haunt me.

Current weight: 189.3
Goal for next week: no more than 191

*****

I'm very excited because i'm making my foray into the world of rib cooking this evening after work.

yesterday i mixed my first attempt at a homemade spice rub and subsequently applied it to some ribs. don't think it's actually homemade since i didn't actually grow the salt and other stuff myself, but it was assembled from several jars, as opposed one jar of Emeril's or somesuch.

i did start with a hint from Alton Brown, the most annoying yet impossible-to-change-the-channel personality on the Food Network, and made the "core" of my rub out of a combination of brown sugar, kosher salt and chilli powder. but i used a smaller ratio of brown sugar than he recommended and a larger ratio of the other spices and whatnot.

*****
Sports Friday is back.

I can finally read an assortment of papers in the morning and get caught up on some LSU football. Watched some of the colts-rams game last night, but i ended up falling asleep some time in the second quarter. and now, without further ado, the return of Sports Friday.

Five Thoughts I Think Peter King Thinks I Think

1. Since LSU went last signing class without getting a quarterback of note, i think it's safe to say that Ryan Perrilloux is the QB of the future. So, I ask, why the talk of a three-way quarterback derby? Matt Flynn seems to be the golden boy after winning the Peach Bowl MVP, but somehow people forget that Joseph Addai was healthy for the first time since the pre-conference schedule and torched Miami for about a buck-fifty on the ground. If Russell had played in the Peach Bowl and put up the exact same numbers Flynn did, Addai would have strolled away with the MVP. Russell is all but a lock first round NFL draft pick -- I've read LSU receivers say that for fun he likes to get on one knee and throw the ball 75 yards. i'd have to see it to believe it, but there's no doubt he's got one of the best arms in all the land. he could throw a rubber chicken through the wall of a bank vault. So, you name Russell your starter, Perrilloux your number 2 and thank Flynn for all he's done for the program and hope he sticks around. if he doesn't, c'est la vie.

2. Joseph Addai didn't put up huge numbers last night, but looked like he belonged on the field with the big boys. the Indy offensive line looked overmatched after the first drive, so nobody did much of anything for the Colts after that (at least the bit i saw of the game). Addai ran hard and caught the ball out of the backfield a couple of times. Rams DT Claude Wroten also got some mention for his play.

3. Other former LSU folks who seem to be making good at the next level are Bradie James and Bennie Brazell. James looks to be the defensive leader for the Cowboys after going from an uneventful first couple of years to the team's leading tackler last year. Brazell is standing out in Bengals camp but is stuck behind one of the best receiver duos in the league. he should see some significant playing time once his other competition goes to court for sentencing.

4. My unwavering faith in the LSU running back stable is waivering. Waiting for a couple of stud signees to be declared eligible and Ally Broussard still seems a bit shaky. There's good talk about Justin Vincent, but i've gotten burned getting on that bandwagon two years in a row. Plus, I got Courtney a #25 LSU football jersey for Christmas a couple of years ago and she hasn't worn it a single time, even though she said she wanted one.

5. West Virginia will breeze through its jokingly easy schedule, be the sweetheart of the national football scene, and subsequently get obliterated when it faces a real team in the postseason.

there's a false bottom line and it's falling apart

well, i made it through chicago. promise to update as soon as possible, i'm just swamped right now.

a good time was had by all.

if you were friends with a tightrope walker and one day y'all were walking down the sidewalk and he tripped that would be unacceptable

well, once again i have shown that setting your goals low is the way to go. after gaining weight during an attempt to lose weight, i've lost weight while trying not to gain weight.

i was a little shocked, since i haven't been doing particularly well with exercising and all that nonsense. so let's continue to aim low:

This week's weight: 189.6
Target for next week: no more than 192

***

Believe it or not, i'm working right now. sitting here listening to NPR (for the first time in my life) waiting for an interview i need to hear.

***

otherwise, not a whole lot going on right now. so i thought i'd try posting a video. this is from youtube and it's a clip from the Colbert Report. As i have mentioned before, television news personalities annoy me to no end. absolutely hate them. After Stephen Colbert was joking with a Congressman on his Comedy Central show one night, several "legitimate" news people took the congressman to task. here was colbert's reply:

Either way there's gonna be blood on the floor when you tell her that you don't dig girls anymore

Victory is mine!

to continue with today's theme of stupidity.

one of my daily readings is the 10 spot on sportsillustrated.com. Last week the writer asked why a batter who fouls a pitch straight back is said to be "right on it" but the same is not said when somebody pops a pitch straight up.

Amazingly, this response actually made it from somebody's head, to their keyboard, to the 10-spot in a subsequent installment:

My mail ran about 50/50 on item No. 10 in Tuesday's edition, in which I questioned why broadcasters always say a batter "was right on that pitch" when he fouls one straight back but never say the same for a pop-up directly over the plate. Half lauded my insight while the rest sniffed that clearly I've never played baseball. Brad of Santa Barbara, Calif., offered what seems to be the most knowledgeable response: "Being a former college baseball player affords me the expertise in this matter. When a hitter fouls a ball straight back it is because he swung and hit the top of the baseball but not squarely enough to exactly reverse the rotation. Hitting the top of the baseball creates the backspin required for a ball to carry out of the park, which is why you hear so many Little League coaches yell, 'Swing down and through.' So in this instance the hitter really did miss the pitch just barely. But in the instance of the pop-up, the hitter swung and hit underneath the baseball, creating the opposite desired rotation and inducing a pop-up or lazy fly ball.

i was baffled. just speechless. it actually caused me to have trouble sleeping that night. so the next day i e-mailed the writer. here's an abreviated summary:

That guy's response upset me greatly. there's no bloody way hitting the top of the baseball will give it an upward trajectory.

The actual e-mail was a few sentences longer and didn't really contain much of my abbreviated summary except that i actually used the phrase "no bloody way" in describing the physics behind what the guy contended. then there was this gem in today's 10 spot:

Furthermore, Thursday's mailbag was full of letters saying that the explanation offered by 10 Spot reader Brad of Santa Barbara, Calif., on how a ball is fouled back to the screen had more holes than Mario Mendoza's swing. Many of the responses cited physics, geometry, calculus and other subjects that I specifically have tried to avoid by becoming a sportswriter, so this will be the final word on the topic.

(an aside for the uninitiated: Mario Mendoza)

N-A-T-E and me, the Warren to the G

I had to get my oil changed Saturday and now laugh every time i'm driving down the road. Like most places, the oil change place i use puts a little sticker on the inside of your windshield reminding you when your next change is due and what kind of oil they used.

for example, when i went saturday my mile-o-meter read 72,401. so, traditionally, i would leave with a sticker saying "next change mileage: 75, 401" because of the common practice of getting one's oil changed every 3,000 miles. however,when i boughts my car they told me i only needed to get it changed every 5,000 miles.

so i was next in line and the guy working there took the sticker off my windshield. I says, "On the new sticker, can you make it for 5,000 miles?"

sure, he says.

so after getting into the bay the same guy comes up and asks for my mileage.

72,401, i say.

and you want it for 5,000 miles? he asks.

please, i say.

so he walks and grabs a sticker, pulls out a trusty sharpie brand permanent felt-tipped marker and commences scribbling. then he comes back and adheses it to my windshield.

I look at the sticker.

"next change mileage: 5,000"

because if there was one thing Jesus cared about, it was semantics.

Are one-armed people ambidextrious?

****

In one week and twenty minutes, i will be leaving work and heading to new orleans to catch a flight to chicago.

i'll be spending the weekend with my band of degenerates in and around Wrigley field watching baseball and mingling with the people. i'm very much looking forward to it.

i'm sure there will be stories aplenty to tell. but much like my trip to vegas earlier this year, i shall be far to lazy to tell them.

sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip

Y'all need to check this out, particularly if you aren't familiar with the Gulf Coast of Louisiana and don't truly know why people have been screaming "coastal restoration" for years.

Matt took a helicopter ride over Terrebonne Parish and created an audio slideshow, showing Terrebonne Parish at 500 feet. if nothing else, you'll see why people are trying to conserve every bit of land they can. as matt puts it in the slideshow, "it's not that hard to get underwater when there's all that water around."

If you aren't a native , some terms you may hear:

• "eeldahzhan charles" -- Isle de Jean Charles -- a small island community almost literally on the Gulf of Mexico.
• "poinuhshan" -- Pointe-aux-Chenes -- to get to Isle de Jean Charles, you have to take Island Road (you can salt water fish off one shoulder and fresh water fish off the other) from the community of Pointe-aux-Chenes
• "downthahbayah" -- down the bayou -- there are no directions in Terrebonne Parish. Down the bayou is pretty much south. in other words, it's whatever direction one must travel to get to Pointe-aux-Chenes, Dulac or any other down the bayou place like Grand Caillou or Little Caillou (much like bayou, the ou is Caillou can be pronounced like "you," but it's an "ah" sound for lots of natives or those who have been there long enough).
• "upthahbayah" -- up the bayou -- the opposite of down the bayou. if you want to go from Dularge to Schriever or Gray, you have to head up the bayou.
• "bayahside" -- bayou side -- this isn't actually in the slideshow, but i thought i'd give a bonus entry. much like compass directions, there really isn't a right or left, either. If you're giving someone directions and the place is on the same side of the road as the neighboring bayou, you specify that it's on the bayou side. if you give no such instructions, it is assumed that the destination is on the opposite side of the road.

and as an added bonus, if you close your eyes and listen to matt talk, you can easily picture yourself at an insurance convention during a captivating Powerpoint presentation.

just kidding.

or am i???

everybody woke, tellin the same joke, singing the same chorus to a song that hasn't even been wrote [sic]

Hey everybody. I'm sure as kids you all at one point played "opposite day." you know, you declare opposite day then tell your brother how much you like him and that he doesn't eat his own boogers.

Well, instead of today being "Opposite Day," i think we're going to make it "Obvious Day."

The sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

Today is Thursday.

Water freezes at 32 degrees F (no, i can't spell it).

My eyes are brown.

I'm using a keyboard to type this.

Baton Rouge is the capital of Louisiana.

*****

I know it's not sports friday (which is on extended hiatus until there is something for me to talk about), but i thought i'd share a quick thought.

The NCAA has a rule this year that allows a player who has graduated to transfer another school without losing a year of eligibility. there are technicalities, but basically the rule used to be that unless you transferred from 1-A to a lower classification, you had to sit out a year. i think this new rule is the most stunning display of common sense i've seen come from the NCAA.

*****

Click this link, it's not what you think it is.

i b'lieve 'e said 'e adda go pee

well, i have once again proven that setting goals does nothing but doom you to failure. Last week, i made my goal to lose a tenth of a pound. and look at me, i've ballooned by three tenths of a pound.

This is the second time i've made the mistake of setting a goal of losing weight. both times i ended up gaining weight, while weeks where i make my goal not to gain too much weight end up with significant losses. so it's back to setting the bar as low as possible.

Current weight: 190.9
Goal for next week: no more than 193

***

I discovered last night that, as suspected, my new neighbor might be a little loony.

apparently she thinks i'm the person she's been getting to mow her yard (she even pointed to her car to remind me which house was hers). i assured her that she had the wrong person. Then she introduced herself to me and informed me she was my neighbor. i smiled and let her know that we had met before.

she then offered to give me a number for a person to cut down a tree in my backyard. she didn't say it, but she thinks it's going to fall and land on her house. and it probably will. but it sort of aggravated me that i had to stop what i was doing to let her know that i don't cut her grass then have her tell me it would be a good idea to have a tree removed, so i doubt i'll take her up on the offer for the number.

I'll just wait for a good storm to take care of it.

Grew a mustache and a mullet, got a job at Chick-Fil-A

UPDATE: I'm stupid. the first blog mentioned below, that girl emily, is being outed as a marketing hoax. can't believe i fell for it.

***

You may recall that i encouraged you to check out a couple of blogs in one of my recent entries. That Girl Emily has become quite entertaining as she continues to torment her cheating husband.

But i mostly want to talk about the one written by the woman science professor. since i've been reading it, i've been trying to be more perceptive to gender issues (although i plan to continue my role as all-out chauvanist -- even if i can't spell it). thought i'd share a couple of recent observations.

I was listening to a sports radio show and a bunch of different people were giving updates on whatever game was happening in whatever city they were in. it struck me as odd that the host introduced the people like this:

"Let's go to Bob in Detroit...thanks, Bob. Now let's head to Dan in Chicago...thanks, Dan. Let's go to the lovely Karen in Seattle."

why does Karen have to be lovely (which is probably a lie to begin with)? Bob and Dan weren't handsome. i wonder if that bugged Karen as much as it bugged me.

The second thing happened last night.

courtney's phone has been on the skids and her contract was up so she decided to go for an upgrade. we went to Cingular and had a very polite, helpful young lady (probably very early 20s)helping us. Courtney decided to get one of those handheld do-everything doo-hickeys. She couldn't decide between a Cingular PDA or a Blackberry and asked the salesperson which she recommended.

"I'd go with the pda," she said. "Usually businessmen who have lots of e-mail get the Blackberry."

As some of you know, Courtney had her master's degree in accounting in less time than it took me to get a bachelor's degree and has spent the subsequent time on vacation, though gainfully employed as an auditor with a large accounting firm. yet, for some reason, the sales person assumed that courtney didn't fit the mold of the type of person who she thought would need a blackberry.

anyway, no particular reason for sharing that. just hadn't updated this in a while and didn't have much else to talk about.

Cause all the geeks that i meet they all look cooler than me

UPDATE: i forgot to link this during my wasp sting story.

*****

so i did the 'Whenever Weigh-in" this morning. 190.6 -- down 1.1 lbs since last week. it's also been a month since i started my half-ass weight-loss quest. i've lost 3.8 pounds (more than that if you count the first week where i actually gained weight).

I'm a little worried because I think i heard somewhere that the most noticeable weight loss comes early, and i don't think i'll be happy if i level off at less than a pound a week. Maybe it's time to buckle down and set loftier goals.

Weight: 190.6
Goal for next week: 190.5

carpe diem

*****

the swelling and itching has on my wasp-stung finger has reduced noticeably today. courtney comes home tomorrow, so i'll need to "tidy up the house a bit" when i get home tonight.

i guess that's about it.

Great expectations, realistic results

i'm not sure what the hell convinced me that i would be patient enough to chronicle a two-part epic on the drama surrounding my left hand. i'm pretty stupid most of the time. so here's the cliff's notes version:

I was paranoid that a suspicious clump of dirt above my front door was a wasps' nest.

i repeatedly sprayed it with Raid.

It wasn't a wasps nest.

However, unbeknownst to me, there was an actual, very active wasps nest about three feet away on my front porch light (i don't have a front porch, but i don't know how else to describe the location of the light) and directly above my skullbone.

I was walking outside Monday and got stung by a wasp on my left middle finger. i said "****!" and hopped around, noticed the nest and eradicated it and its 8 or so inhabitants with straight prejudice. now my thumb hurts to bend it because of the saw altercation and my middle finger is puffy and itchy. (I'm glad it wasn't one finger over because it's still easy to take my wedding ring off before i go into a bar).

*****

I witnessed a very bad car wreck yesterday. i was sitting at a light and a guy turned left into an oncoming car going about 50 mph. dudes were f'd up. (i told the police that both cars had a green light with no turn arrow. but i'm feeling a twinge of guilt because it is possible that i was wrong and the truck had an arrow and the car ran a red light. since the guy in the truck is going to get a failure to yield ticket, i hope my memory was correct.)

i was a little surprised at the level of pre-ambulance first aid administered by the responding officers. me and a couple other guys were standing between the cars checking on the drivers (i was "supervising.") the guy who got hit was bloodied and didn't remember where he was going or where he was coming from. the guy who turned was laid across his seat and not moving at all.

so the po-po shows up and tells the guy in the car not to move and the ambulance was on its way. he looks at us "anybody else hurt?" we sort of motion to the fairly conspicuous truck halfway in a ditch with a guy laying across the seat not moving.

"he still alive?" po-po asks.
"he was a few minutes ago."

Po-po walks up to the truck. "You still with us?"

mumble.

"Do you have a preference for what tow-truck company we use?" sen-si-tive.

mumble.

"All right, acadian (ambulance) is on its way."

*****

I have a couple of reading recommendations that i think you should check out (which i guess is why they're recommendations).

The Science Professor is a blog by a science professor at a major research university writing about how big of a pain in the butt it is to be a woman science professor at a major research university. I stumbled across it and was impressed with the way she handles being established in her field despite remaining an outsider in a male-dominated profession.

My other recommendation has some adult content. That Girl Emily started off as generic blog, but quickly transformed after the author found out her husband is sleeping with her best friend. now she's writing about the different revenge techniques she's employing (including using their joint bank account to buy a billboard and giving away his extensive wine collection to construction workers in the neighborhood).

*****

I think i'm going to rename the Wednesday Weigh-in the "whenever weigh-in." i didn't remember to weigh this morning until i was already dressed. maybe i'll get around to it tomorrow.

My left hand is good for when i'm knockin' on wood, although i gotta admit that it hurts

This should have been an opportunity for me to brag about being Mr. Fix-it, but after yesterday i have to talk about what a tough few days it's been for my left hand.

Quite a while back, a storm split one of the pieces of wood on my fence, so i decided sunday it was time to replace it. those of you who have known me for any amount of time are already laughing. But wait, it gets funnier. This wasn't just any piece of the fence, it was the piece with the two-piece handle on it. and attached to that piece of wood was a second, smaller piece with the handle for the other side. (the smaller piece of wood also served as what i would call an "anchor." when you put the wood into the fence, the smaller piece on back sits on a piece of wood running perpendicular to the fence.)

For those who don't know me that well, here's a summary of things i've tried to construct/fix in the last 26 years:

- A mop out of two wire coathangers and a shredded t-shirt
-a hand-crafted ping pong paddle, which didn't progress much past the "hey, i should hand craft a paddle" stage.

this was going to require a pencil, tape measure, phillips head screw driver, a ratchet (with two different sized thingies), and a drill. i was giddy.

Long story less long: about an hour and half later, i had a fully functioning piece of wood for a fence with handle installed. But when i went to install it into the fence, i was horrified to see that i had somehow managed to put the thingy that latches into the thingy about an eighth of an inch too high. Just enough to keep it from closing. i was horrified.

This meant that i was going to have to take the whole thing apart and start over. Unless...unless, i just trimmed a bit off the bottom of the rear board where it would sit thismuch lower. brilliant!

[Had i written this before the events of yesterday you will soon hear about, i would be bragging about how i had fixed my fence and it only required one band-aid.]

I took out my handsaw and attempted to trim the bottom of the board. but pretty much all i did was a bunch of scraping. But then i remembered i had a skill saw and thought, "Screw this, I'm using a skill saw." So i take out my 2.5 HP laser-guided skill saw with 18-tooth carbide blade. As soon as i took it out of its carrying case, i realized there was no way in f'ing hell i was putting the plug to that thing anywhere near an outlet. I may have been born yesterday, but it wasn't at night.

In fact, i couldn't even figure out how to put it back into the carrying case, so i just put it back in the box, where it shall remain for all eternity.

so i go back to the regular hand saw and eventually make some progress. after a few minute of sawing, i decide to see if it would be easier if i saw sideway to cut the excess off and create less friction for the saw. needless to saw, the saw scraped the wood then hopped its way over to my left thumb. it stung a little, and bled more than i expected it to. but i washed it off, put a bandaid on it and finished the fence.

and that should have been the end of the story. But as i have foreshadowed it wasn't. stick around for the thrilling conclusion. well, the conclusion.

would you say i had a plethora of pinatas?

The Friday Wednesday Weigh-in

Well, against my better judgment, I weighed this morning and was quite startled with the results: 191.7 -- down nearly two pounds from last week. I called bullshnarf and weighed again, twice. The next two weights were actually less than that. So i guess i'm happy that despite my lack of recent exercise i'm still losing weight.

But since i don't trust that scale, i'm setting even less lofty goals in my half-assed weight loss effort (which i promise will one of these days return to having the wednesday weigh-in on a wednesday).

Today's weight: 191.7
Goal for next week: no more than 195

Reader Contest

Well, Courtney is in Seattle now and will be heading to Alaska this afternoon. A couple of thoughts on the reader contest (scroll down to last Thursday if you don't know what i'm talking about). Ryan, before courtney left she threatened to kill me if i even considered any sort of paint job. so your $50, i'm ashamed to say, is safe.

Mom, I know that's you that came up with the frog aquarium. Most people would have said "without gloves," a few people would have said "sans gloves," but only you would have used "senza gloves." so next time you want to take a cheap shot, at least put your name on it. But i certainly appreciate the effort.

You can learn to cope with stress, you can beat the IRS, and the Incredible Frogboy is on the loose again

I was standing at the check-out with my 12 items or less a week or two ago and decided that if you took a survey, express lane cashiers would have a higher rate of job satisfaction than normal lane cashiers.

Each transaction takes less time than the normal lane, so you have more opportunities to experience a sense of completion. Things are less monotonous and you deal with more people, so they day goes by quicker.

that, in turn, got me to thinking about what job has the highest rate of employee satisfaction. After much thought, i decided that it had to be tattoo artists.

(Warning: the following explanation is likely to include sweeping generalizations and a stereotype or two.)

I can't imagine there are too many people who are tattoo artists that would rather be doing something else. Drawing on other people, it seems, is something one gets into because that is what one intends to do. It's not like waiting tables at a restaurant "until your book gets published," or working at the mall "because your parents made you get a summer job" or exotic dancing "because i needed to put myself through law school."

Granted, i'm not sure a lot of kids are out there saying that they want to be tattoo artists, but after watching Top Gun in 1986 i wanted to be a fighter pilot. So it's not like adults have to live out their childhood dream to be happy with their job. By the time you're close enough to adulthood to make a reasonable guess as to what you'd like to do (and for me, having two feet on the ground was a requisite), i think that's when the career-happiness meter starts.

and this is just a guess, but i bet there are more people out there who aren't tattoo artists who wish they were than there are tattoo artists who wish they weren't.

If you disagree and can think of a profession with a higher satisfaction rate, be sure and post it in the comments.

he should've quit before he had written the address

Light Green Dog

With a title like "light green dog" you are probably expecting this story to be about a light green dog. or maybe a light, green dog.

but no, my friend, this story is about a light green, dog.

I was walking to a nearby restaurant for lunch when i passed a rather impatient motorist. He wanted to turn left at the intersection, but the car in front of him was not moving. So the impatient motorist honked his horn and exclaimed, "Light green, dog!"

In Cold Blood

I'm about two-hunny pages into Truman Capote's In Cold Blood, and it's tough to put down. It reads like a fictional murder mystery novel (which, of course, is redundant since novels, by definition, are fiction).

And i think that's the weird thing for me. every once in a while, it dawns on me that it was actual people killed and not characters in a book. sort of weirds me out, to tell you the truth.

i guess that's it for now.

well, i'm all messed up, that's nothing new

i read one of the funniest quotes ever this morning. It's funny because i'm supposed to be way too old to laugh at stuff like this. From a Sportsillustrated.com story about the declining health of champion racehorse Barbaro:

"Right now, he's happier," Richardson said. "He's got a normal heart rate, normal temperature, he's eating like crazy. He's very hungry. He's making lots of manure. He looks actually pretty happy today. Now we have to see how he responds to what's going on."

I think that's how i'm going to start responding to friendly chatter from people, such as former major league baseball player Chet Lemon.

"hey, seth, how ya doing?"
"Not so good, Chet Lemon, I haven't been making lots of poop."

or, conversely:

"hey, seth, how're things?"
"well, Chet Lemon, judging by the amount the poop i've been making, i'd have to say i'm pretty happy right now."

*****

I'm going to be traveling hither and yon the next two evenings, so i won't be around a scale for the wednesday weigh-in until friday morning. i have done some preliminary weigh-ins the last few days, and i have to tell you, it's not looking good for the home team.

I've been really good about running everyday and have been fairly good at watching what i eat (although last night at 10 i was watching myself eat half a container of crab dip). It appears that i'm going to be that whiney person on the informercials: "I lost 8 tenths of a pound on my last diet, but the weight came back!"

I'm such a loser.

*****

From Wikipedia:

Chester Earl Lemon (born February 12, 1955 in Jackson, Mississippi) is a former center fielder in Major League Baseball. He attended Cerritos Junior College in Norwalk, California, and was drafted in the first round of the 1972 draft (22nd pick) by the Chicago White Sox.

Lemon made his major league debut in 1975 with Chicago, before becoming a full time player the next season. He began his career as a third baseman before quickly switching to center field. In 1977, he set an American League record with 524 total chances and 512 putouts; in all, he recorded 400 or more outfield putouts in five different seasons, which is also an American League record. His first All-Star Game appearance came in 1978.

After the 1981 season, Lemon was traded to the Detroit Tigers for popular outfielder Steve Kemp. Kemp played regularly for Chicago for only two seasons after the trade, while Lemon stayed with the Tigers through 1990. Lemon joined a Tiger team stocked with young talent: Alan Trammell, Lou Whitaker, Jack Morris, Kirk Gibson and Lance Parrish were to form the core of a successful team through the early- to mid-1980s.

Lemon arguably had his best season in 1984, as he hit .287 with 20 home runs and 76 RBI, and collected a .990 fielding percentage while handling 421 total chances. The Tigers won the 1984 World Series, and Lemon's numbers were comparable with teammate and eventual Series MVP Trammell.

In 1988, Lemon hit his 200th career home run off Cleveland's Scott Bailes. In the same game, Darrell Evans hit his 400th career home run. Also that season, Lemon moved from center field to right field to make room for speedy new acquisition Gary Pettis. Lemon also had a unique ability to be hit by a pitch; in the 1980s, he was second only to Don Baylor by getting plunked 108 times. He also had a penchant for diving headfirst into first base.

Lemon retired from baseball after the 1990 season. For his career, he hit 215 home runs, had 884 RBI, 396 doubles, a .273 batting average, and a career fielding percentage of .984. Soon after retiring, he became ill with a serious spleen disease, polycythemia vera. In December of 1990, Lemon successfully underwent surgery at the University of Michigan, and has had two subsequent surgeries, the last of which removed his spleen. He now coaches Chet Lemon's Juice, a successful 18-and-under baseball team in Sanford, Florida. Lemon's son Marcus was selected in the 4th round of the 2006 ML Draft by the Texas Rangers.

Lemon is also the head coach for Eustis High School in Eustis, Fla. His son, who has committed with the University of Texas at Austin, was the team's lead-off hitter in 2006.

"I know what exacerbate means."

well, courtney's out of town.

last night i decided i'd sleep on the couch for the next two weeks so i wouldn't have to make the bed. unfortunately, the couch proved to be too uncomfortable. Now i guess i'll sleep in the bed for the next two weeks, but will wait until the morning she comes home to make it.

I fear my half-assed weight loss attempt will be derailed over the next fortnight. When i got home yesterday i rediscovered that when i'm alone and bored i tend to eat. i managed to go for a run on the treadmill yesterday, but i fear the relative idleness of the upcoming days will surely torpedo any progress i have previously made (which, admittedly, wasn't a whole hell of a lot).

I did watch a couple of movies yesterday: Proof and Capote.

Proof was OK, i liked it better when i was over. During the movie it was all right, but at the end i thought "well, i guess that was pretty good." I'm not telling you not to watch it, but i wouldn't put it too high on your "movies to watch" list.

Capote, on the other hand, was excellent. in most of his other movies i've seen, philip seymour hoffman tends to play rather obtuse characters with booming personalities. I didn't see anyway they were going to be able to stick him in this role as a 5'4" man. But it worked marvelously.

If you've never heard Truman Capote talk, which i hadn't, i highly recommend watching the mini-documentary in the special features before you watch the actual movie. It will give you an idea of how spot-on Hoffman's performance was.

Incidentally, the title of this entry comes from Capote. A death-row prisoners uses the word exacerbate in a sentence, then lists a few synonyms, to which Capote replies, "I know what exacerbate means. there is no word, concept or sentence you can illuminate for me." or something like that.

*****

In other news, a story by Courier Lifestyles Editor Mark Green with accompanying photo by Mika Edwards in making the national rounds. Mika has blossomed into quite the celebrity after being contacted by Good Morning America about the picture.

Things were coming together now they're falling apart

This would normally be sports friday, but i think it's going to end up being more of a gripe fest (although there is one sports-related note i plan on covering).

But first, it's time for the wednesday weigh-in. I did it this morning since July 4 was Tuesday and i was scared to see what the scale said wednesday morning. You'll be pleased to see that setting my goals low paid off.

I started last week at 195, with my target being to weigh no more than 195.3 this time. And, as luck would have it, i ended up actually losing weight, tipping the scales at 193.6.

Since the next weigh-in is less than a week away, I will again aim low.

Current weight: 193.6
Next week's target: no more than 194

*****

An abbreviated Sports Friday
I've been meaning to write about this for a while, but kept forgetting about it until the discussion came up on Mike and Mike this morning on ESPN radio.

The question: Is the plural of RBI RBIs or just RBI?

Fill-in co-host Buster Olney says it's RBI, which is a very popular notion these days (and, as he said, the NY Times style).

His argument: RBI stands for runs batted in, so to add an "s" to RBI pluralize it is redundant.

Mike Greenberg says it's RBIs.

His argument: RBI has become its own word in a way.

My thoughts: I agree with Greenberg, but for different reasons.

My arguments: Things that are inherently plural can be singular. RBI is not so much "runs batted in" as it is a category with which to enumerate runs batted in. Sort of like the word "band" is singular for "multiple people playing instruments together." More than one band is still "bands," despite the idea that the very nature of a single band implies multiple components.

And, furthermore, to take a look at Olney's argument that RBI is by default plural since it is runs batted in. That would make it impossible for someone to have 1 RBI. Since English does not allow you to have one runs batted in or one bands playing a concert or one plates of spaghetti or anything else of that sort.

*****

I hate television news programs. I think the reason I like the Colbert Report so much is that you could take it from Comedy Central and put it on any other channel and have no trouble believing that it's an actual news show.

I guess now would be as good a time as any for a bit of disclosure, just to let you know that i'm willing to talk about this without any unnecessary accusations of professional jealousy.

[Begin bit of disclosure, just to let you know that i'm willing to talk about this without any unnecessary accusations of professional jealousy.]

I covered the police beat at my last job, which means that the majority of my spot-news coverage involved things that would lead to rubber-necking by the general public. I, with my trusty reporter's notebook, and Matt, with his trusty digital camera, were endlessly subjected to questions from people wondering if we were with the local tv station (i don't think i need to describe to you, dear reader, how much different a digital camera looks than a television camera). While that is not really the tv station's fault, there were other issues.

News was always easier to get when the tv station was around, and largely for no other reason than the reporter was a reasonably attractive female. Ah, yes, starting to sound jealous, aren't I? well, here's another story:

One day I got an e-mail from a fellow in New Orleans who was a serial killer enthusiast. A week or two later, I drove to New Orleans East to interview him. I didn't write the story for a couple of weeks. The day it ran in the paper the local news pretty much read it on air, without feeling the need to credit me or the paper.

[End bit of disclosure, just to let you know that i'm willing to talk about this without any unnecessary accusations of professional jealousy.]

So, now you know all the possible professional reasons why i wouldn't like tv news, i'd like to continue my rant from the view of me as a television watcher.

In short, television news believes that I am helpless. TV programs and stations are "on my side" and frequently tout their crack news teams constantly digging up corruption, and they're doing it for me.

Anderson Cooper, (who i only watched because Courtney made me) is the poster child for tv news personalities i can't stand. There was an interview the other night about new orleans and Ray Nagin, and Cooper must have said "keeping him honest" a gazillion times.

(brief side note: i am by no means a Nagin apologist, but a guy on there was ripping him for not just coming out and saying some places won't be rebuilt because people need to know. As i recall, Nagin said that very thing several months ago and got chewed out for it.)

Here's the thing, tv news: i don't want you on my side. I'm OK, i can make my own judgments. Just tell me the news and I'll take it from there. I don't need you beating in my brains with cries of a corrupt system and then shamelessly patting yourselves on the back for sensationalizing everything. There is no boogieman in my closet and if there were, I'd notice it. And if i don't notice it, shame on me.

I think i could handle the poor quality of television reporting if it weren't coupled with the mundane chatter between anchors. Yes, i realize it has a lot to do with timing issues in the show, but it would be nice if they would talk like real people and not like, well, tv people trying to stretch to commercial.

and while they're at it, they can shove that doppler radar up their collective asses.

An acrobat swinging trapezes through circles of flame

Hello everybody.

It's time for another reader contest. Here's the background:

Sunday, courtney leaves for Chicago for a few days of training. Upon her return, she will promptly turn around and head to Alaska for nine or ten more days. Which means I will be all by my lonesome for about two weeks.

Assuredly, my time will be spent reading a book, watching Anchorman or furthering the progress of my XBox college football team, the St. Tammany Calamity.

Or will it? That, reader, is where you come in.

You can take part in a little contest i like to call "I bet you won't..."

In the comment section, leave a domestic task you bet i won't do while she's gone and the amount of money you'll pay me if i pull it off.

now, you could be cheesy and do something like "I bet you $5 you won't have the dishes washed when she gets home", and you of course you can, but what fun would that be?

i want to see things like "I bet you $500 you won't dig a swimming pool while she's gone" or "$50 says you won't replace the kitchen table centerpiece with a papier mache cast of your butt."

just keep in mind that the payment must cover whatever cost i have to incur to pull it off, as well as a reward proportional to the amount of trouble i'll be in when she gets home.

and, above all else, be creative.

My grandpa always said laughter is the best medicine, i guess that's why so many of us died of tuberculosis

If you don't ever do another thing i tell you, check out The Onion this week and next. It's celebrating 10 years online and posting a sort of "best of" collection. be sure and click on the various years to see all the content. they feature a different year each day.

***

two quick Ryan Chatelain plugs:

-If yous in New York this weekend, check him out at 8 p.m. this Friday at Stain Bar in Brooklyn. We're making a concerted (get it? concerted? like a concert? he's a musician. get it? get it?) effort to top his record-breaking crowd of ...drumroll...six people at his last show there. Obviously the bar's marketing efforts leave much to be desired.

--He's also launched a new music Web site, Marked Online Music Magazine. check it out early and often.

and if you have anything you would like me to shamelessly plug, just let me know. the only requirement is that you know me well enough to know how to find me to let me know about whatever it is you want me to let people know. i'm particularly talented when it comes to the craft of using particularly long sentences that ramble on word after word after word but don't really say anything that couldn't have been said better or at least as well as a short sentence like this one: I write long sentences.

***

Happy, happy Joy, joy!

Dispatches from the Northshore is pleased to launch a new reader contest. Check back this afternoon or early tomorrow for specifics.

i think it's the sort of thing that everyone will enjoy. Well, everyone but a certain someone i know... bwah ha ha ha ha ha

all toe shoes and twin

hope all of y'all are off today. i'm not. in fact, i'm swamped. but i thought you'd might like to know:

when courtney and i started dating in college, she had a nick carter poster on her closet door.