I don't think it would necessarily be fair to say that I get road rage.
I get petty. I don't suffer fools well.
If you do something stupid, i'll position myself just right to spray your car with washer fluid. Mature, I know.
So I was in a pretty good mood today, until my drive to work.
As I've preached before, I wouldn't call myself a defensive driver. But I'm safe. I always know how fast i'm going and where other cars are on the road. I drive faster than the speed limit habitually, but I've never been pulled over for speeding, much less gotten a speeding ticket.
Over the years, I've compiled a list rules governing the correct way to drive. here are the ones that are important to this story.
1. On an interstate highway, brakes are not for slowing down. they are for not hitting the car in front of you.
2. Unless said car has its emergency lights on, do not slow when you see a police car. if you were speeding, the officer already knows it. going 45 for half a mile will not trick him into thinking you didn't just pass him going 83.
3. if you're not brave enough to speed on your own, don't wait for me to pass you then speed up and follow me.
i stopped in Hammond this morning to get gas. and shortly after i got back on interstate, i got in the left to pass a group of cars. After i got in the left lane, a mini van in front of me also got in the left lane. there were no other cars in the left lane within site.
So, needless to say, i was a little surprised when the van passed the first car in the group and its brake lights came on. i slapped my forehead as the van cautiously passed what looked like a soon-to-be police car.
the entire group of cars to our right were white Crown Victorias. They all had tinted windows and that spotlight cop cars have on the driver's side mirror. There were seven of them in a row. Other than the previous description, there was nothing that would lead a reasonable person to believe that she needed to slow down. (did i just use "she" and "reasonable" in the same sentence?)
None of the cars had permanent license plates.
None of the cars had any sort of police identification anywhere on them.
None of the cars had emergency lights.
The cars were driving 68 miles an hour.
Sorry, but that doesn't exactly scream "speed trap" to me.
So this stupid lady in her minivan is bebopping along at exactly 70 mph, clearly concerned that at any second one of the 7 notpolice cars to her right is going to throw on their notlights and pull her over for notspeeding.
We eventually make our past the intimidating armada of those who are clearly notprotecting and notserving. I mistakenly give the driver of the minivan a little credit when she pulls into the right lane to let me pass. mistakenly.
As i pass her, she speeds up. I get up to about 78. she's right behind me, now going 10 mph faster than she was a tenth of a mile ago.
In short order, it's time to pass another car. I get in the left lane. so does the minivan. I couldn't help myself. After i passed the car I slowed down to 68.
This apparently aggravated the woman driving the minivan, so she got in the right lane to pass me. So i sped up. she gets behind me again in the left lane.
The faster i go, the faster she goes. so i slow down again, but just for a second. i speed up, and i'm going about 78 or 80, and she's behind me flashing her lights at me. yes, two minutes ago, i was behind her patiently while she was going 70 in the passing lane, now she's telling me to get out of her way.
I decide that i'm happy where i am (one of my other cardinal rules of driving: Thou shalt not drive in the left lane when there's room for you in the right one) and let her pass me on the right.
so now i'm in a bad mood, because out there somewhere is somebody cruising along in a minivan who thinks i'm a bad driver and will continue to hit her brakes every time she sees a notpolice car on the road.
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4 comments:
I feel compelled to add my two cents here. (Increased reader interaction) The first, I think it is crafty old people who buy Crown Vics, think about it. If you are going to be driving below the speed limit, can’t see too well and are worried about people driving too fast around you. The Crown Vic is your perfect car. A ton of Detroit steel protects you from the world and without fail 90% of the general population will slow down and drive around you with caution. Brilliant. Two, while I understand and dislike people speeding up and following too closely there are exceptions. I generally speed 6-9 mph over. No cop wants to pull anyone over for less than 10. (Unless they’ve nothing else to do or are in an area that gets a substantial portion of their income from traffic tickets, but that’s a whole other rant.) But if I’m on the highway, especially I-10 and I see someone fly past me going more than 15 over (even better if they have a radar detector) I’ll follow them at a safe distance and just keep them in sight. It’s the free-rider effect if that person is willing to take the risk I might as well get to my destination a little faster. One time in college driving from Colorado to Missouri I avoided a ticket when someone in front of me got pulled over while I was able to continue on my way and that’s just about as good as it gets.
btw: Mississippi State will cover. I know a lot of Gators worried about Saturday’s game. I’m going to be in New Orleans tonight (you probably already new this) you should join us for a drink if you feel like driving over the lake.
oh, i make a living being the second-fastest car on the road, so i agree with you whole heartedly.
if you're going 77 and they're going 85, i say go 80 or 82.
but like you said, no tailgating. if you are already going fast, it's only smart to adjust your speed to surrounding traffic. it's not cool to be a wuss and wait to pass 70 until you find somebody to tailgate.
I called the precincts of four police cars (well, one State Trooper, two Sheriffs and one police officer). Three were tailgating and one ran a red light. I don't have time or patience any more with piece of crap drivers. As long as I can read their car number, they better not do stupid things around me. I've had it up to my eyeballs with people who can't drive and I'm taking it out on the ones who have the authority to ticket people who drive better than they do. Tailgaters should be arrested. Jackasses!
And I'll hook onto a fast driver when I see them--especially if I know there is little danger of a ticket in the first place or if I'm on a trip that takes more than two hours. I sometimes feel sorry for the people who get behind me. I have no radar detector and most of them follow too closely. But as long as they're willing to take the ticket...
I could rant on crappy drivers for hours--I really could. And why is it that they multiply exponentially when it starts raining?!
Go Saints!
I liked that movie, by the way. The best part about that particular scene was the look on the woman's face. Other than that, it's not as though that particular character can be considered an authority on people--so it takes a lot of the sting out of the comment.
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