Ok, check this out. She's old, right? Read that lead again...
A Connecticut woman born to former slaves in the decades following the U.S. Civil War has become the world's oldest person, at 114, according to Guinness World Records.
See that?
The lady is 114, she doesn't need some lame-ass attempt from some writer to make her sound older. She's 114!
2007 (now)-114 (her age)=1892 (her birth year)
Civil War: 1861 to 1865
Never mind the fact that she was born in (Wayne Campbell voice) "a year" not "decades"-- choosing the Civil War as the point of reference was bullshit. She was born nearly 30 years after it was over. Just lame (unless, of course, her amazing longevity truely can be attributed to her multi-decadenal gestation). (i'm also reasonably certain i misspelled several words in that last sentence.)
That's like saying "Seth, who was born in the decades following the Kennedy assassination..."
1892(her birth year) - 1865 (end of war) = 27 years
1980 (my birth year) - 1963 (Kennedy assassination) = 17 years
I was born a full decade closer to the Kennedy assassination than she was to the end of the Civil War. How many people associate Kennedy with the 19 flippin 80's?
Things that happened in 1892 that would have been a better comparison than that lame-ass Civil War shit:
-Rules of basketball published
-Ellis Island opens
-Columbus sails the ocean blue
-Lizzie Bordon chops up stuff...people mostly
-Grover Cleveland elected president
Just crappy writing. and if anybody knows crappy writing, it's me.
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3 comments:
I was figuratively born in the decades following the invention of the phonograph.
-Hooch
That's what I love, a writer who can pick someone else's lede apart. You've got the makings of an editor for sure. By the way, how come you've got links for the publications you previously worked for but not, you can guess where this is going, the one where you currently do your thing? Does distance make the heart grow fonder?
actually, everyone got an e-mail some months ago reminding us to be very careful how we incorporate our employer into our non-work-related writing-- no offering our opinions on any stories and the like. as i read it, it wouldn't have been a problem to link to their site from here, but i took it down just to be safe.
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