A womb with a view

i was a victim of a crime this morning.

A drive-by uterus.

I was walking into the kitchen at work to get my morning coffee and there, taped to the door, were pictures of some lady's uterus.

This is apparently some sort of female ritual. They get pregnant and they want people to see their insides.

In a society where you can't show boobies on television, it is perfectly acceptable to say "look, world, I vaginally ingested some semen and it stuck. now there's a baby inside me. please relish its fuzzy, gray cuteness."

If all matters of childbirth are so cuddly, how come you don't ever see people passing around pictures of their shit- and blood-covered c-section? "and heeere's them stacking my intestines on my chest to get to little Mable Claudine, who was the most precious mix of fetal-pig pink and snot."

Now if you are one of those people who enjoy seeing uterae (i'm assuming uterus is a female noun), more power to you. your friends' can keep their pictures in an envelope and ask if you want to see them. You can say yes.

As for me, I have no interest in such matters. See me in a few months when the baby is born, clean and wearing clothes.

and i'll look at all the pictures you have.

I can't go outside I'm scared i might not make it home

Before we get to today's entry, there has been some Blogger (TM)-induced change to his site. i've seen other sites that had the same change complain about problems with posting comments. so, if you want to comment and it doesn't work try again or something.

***

Had a pretty enjoyable weekend capped off by a trip to the Saints game, which wasn't much to watch.

Before the game, four people played musical chairs for a chance to advance to the musical chair finals in a couple of weeks for a chance to win Super Bowl tickets.

There was one woman this week who was clearly in violation of the spirit of the rules of musical chairs. every one knows that to correctly play musical chairs, you have to travel at a constant speed around the chairs. this woman would dance near a chair for a few seconds then run to the next chair and stop and dance.

needless to say, the woman won. when they announced her as the winner, the crowd--obviously schooled in proper musical chairs sportsmanship--booed mightily. The announcer said, "i think this is the first time somebody has been booed in musical chairs."

I hope the musical chair judges do a better job next time of enforcing the spirit of the rules.

in fact, i'm going to e-mail the Saints now to make sure it happens.